I would do anything for my child.

(published with E's permission)
Two weeks ago E had an serious episode of dysphoric mania (otherwise known as the dreaded mixed state). Mixed state is life-threatening and her life was in danger. She ran away from us on Shabbat morning and was in a terrible state. We drove around the neighborhood looking for her. It was terrifying. When I found her she was paranoid and talking about how people were coming to hurt her and that 'everyone was talking about her'. She had the presence of mind to call for help. She called a teacher from her high school who probably saved her life.  He told her he would sit with her and then take her to us. Coincidentally, the teacher and I pulled up to the library where she was hiding at the same time. He persuaded her to go to the hospital with me.

This time it was the adult ward. It turned out to be great for her. The program was way more suited to her needs-suicide prevention, a bipolar group. So instead of the fear she had lived with of the adult ward, she actually had a good experience and they got her stable again.

So, we bit the bullet and decided to do the Modified Atkins Diet (the aptly named MAD diet). http://www.epilepsy.com/epilepsy/treatment_atkins_diet We know that the classical ketogenic was her magic bullet as a baby. We know that people are calling for research into bipolar and a ketogenic diet. There is evidence to suggest it can be very helpful.


Trouble is, it's TEN grams of carb a day to start, then bumping up to 20-25. It SUCKS. It's hard, unappealing, boring, greasy (my whole kitchen is oily), expensive. I decided I am going to do it with her. I am not going to let her go through this alone. Five days into the diet the two of us were ready to rebel. We couldn't look look at another egg. I used to LIKE cheese, not any more. We're craving chocolate and even fruit. The two of us were ready to chuck it in this morning. I could cheat and have grams of carb than her, but I will not do that to her. We do this together. Frank weathered my temper tantrum this morning (basically "I am NOT doing this" with a lot more swear words involved). In his calm way he reminded me that this may be a very real shot at getting off 6 medications that make E sleepy and nauseated all day. That this may be her chance at a normal life. The ketogenic diet was her chance before.

So, as much as it sucks, I WOULD do anything for my child, even this awful diet.